Well, I never really finished my last post. It's been a while. I've had so much going on these last few months...not too many good things.
So, several months ago my mom passed away. I've had such a rough time dealing with it. There are times when I ache so much I don't feel like I can take it anymore. I finally broke down several weeks after my mom died. My poor husband came home to me sobbing my eyes out. The poor guy didn't know what to do with me. Now I just randomly cry...maybe once a week. It's still unreal to me that I don't have my mom anymore. Sometimes I hear someone laugh at work and it sounds like my mom and I think it's her...and then I realize she isn't around to laugh.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Mom
Well, I started this blog basically because I'm sad and I guess I don't have an outlet for how I'm feeling.
My mom passed away from cancer suddenly a few weeks ago. While she was icu and ccu it was horrible and my siblings and I were a wreck. When she finally went (which didn't take long) I suddenly dried up and stopped crying.
I handled my mom's entire memorial service and pretty much didn't cry through it at all.
Over the last few weeks, I've not been able to confront what happened. Every time I started to think about it, I would just tell myself that it couldn't possibly be true and would stop thinking about it.
I'm 24 years old. I got married last year and we all thought my mom had the flu throughout my wedding.
In December I took a latent honeymoon and when I came back I found that my mom had been diagnosed with Large B Cell Lymphoma and that it was at least stage 3, if not stage 4. Through all this, my mom was still cheerful, happy and hanging out with us.
In January I became pregnant. About a month later my mom completed recieving radiation treatment, which we all thought was going very well.
My mom received her first chemo treatment a couple months ago. Within a week she had developed congestive heart failure and contracted pheumonea. She spent her 60th birthday in the hospital.
Even with this, we all thought she would pull through. She was sent home and was working on getting a bit better so she could start a new chemo treatment regimen.
My mom passed away from cancer suddenly a few weeks ago. While she was icu and ccu it was horrible and my siblings and I were a wreck. When she finally went (which didn't take long) I suddenly dried up and stopped crying.
I handled my mom's entire memorial service and pretty much didn't cry through it at all.
Over the last few weeks, I've not been able to confront what happened. Every time I started to think about it, I would just tell myself that it couldn't possibly be true and would stop thinking about it.
I'm 24 years old. I got married last year and we all thought my mom had the flu throughout my wedding.
In December I took a latent honeymoon and when I came back I found that my mom had been diagnosed with Large B Cell Lymphoma and that it was at least stage 3, if not stage 4. Through all this, my mom was still cheerful, happy and hanging out with us.
In January I became pregnant. About a month later my mom completed recieving radiation treatment, which we all thought was going very well.
My mom received her first chemo treatment a couple months ago. Within a week she had developed congestive heart failure and contracted pheumonea. She spent her 60th birthday in the hospital.
Even with this, we all thought she would pull through. She was sent home and was working on getting a bit better so she could start a new chemo treatment regimen.
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